Some men must have had, at least at some point, doubts about their sexual performance, but lasting longer in bed is certainly every man’s wish. Most men who suffer from premature ejaculation are too embarrassed to address this issue properly, so they either ignore it or they linger around it. In either case, the result is an unhappy sexual life, which leads to altered personal relations, low self-esteem and anger. Fortunately, for those who do not refuse to acknowledge their problems there are solutions.
An exact cause of premature ejaculation cannot be pinpointed. There are, however, various explanations that reveal a mixture of psychological and biological factors which underlie this condition. The psychological causes include anxiety over the sexual performance, a pre-established target of ejaculating early (usually if the man has difficulties getting or maintaining his erection) or the nature of the relation with the sexual partner. Also, thyroid problems, an abnormal level of hormones or specific thyroid problems may be what prevents men from lasting longer in bed. Before jumping ahead to conclusions and start spending money on drugs or other products that pretend to be able to solve your problem overnight, you should take matters into your own hands. The solution for premature ejaculation usually lies in your power, it comes for free and it implies a great deal of self-control and commitment.
First, you should be aware of what is happening to your body right before, during and immediately after sexual intercourse. The first stage is the Excitement Stage, the beginning of arousal, when the erection develops and the breath deepens and the respiration rate will increase. As the erection becomes complete, there is the Plateau Stage, which is the period that should be prolonged for as long as the man wants and which precedes ejaculation. Within the Plateau Stage, when the levels of arousal increase, there are noticeable involuntary contractions of the pelvic area, which signal the Point of no Return, as ejaculation is imminent.
The Plateau Prolongation is possible only if the man changes his mind set: he needs to place his partner’s sexual needs first and only then he can address his own. This is, in other words, the “remove and replace” principle, according to which the main target of the man is to sexually satisfy his partner before reaching climax. Becoming aroused takes considerably more time for a woman than for a man, which is why men should not be hasty when it comes to penetration. If penetration occurs too fast, not only will the woman be unprepared, but the man will be prone to ejaculate faster. Therefore, men should take their time and arouse their partners by focusing on their erogenous zones, which will have the desired result: women will reach climax faster and the time spent making love will be perceived as considerably longer.
Another technique to improve sexual stamina is known as Refractory Incentive and it involves prolonging the Plateau stage with the help of the refractory period between ejaculations. It is difficult for most men to have a second ejaculation immediately (in hours) after the first, so if they want to last longer in bed, they should plan ahead and masturbate a few hours before having sexual intercourse in order to obtain that advantage. Physically, this helps men control the level of arousal as the glans becomes desensitized. Although this technique leaves no room for spontaneity, it will buy men a lot of time in the Plateau stage, which will make their partners happy as well.
In order to have an amazing sexual experience, men should pay attention to what they think while they are making love. Constantly thinking about how long they will last, how long until their partners reach orgasm and if they are able not to ejaculate until then are some questions underlying their anxiety. This is a rather vicious circle, because simply worrying will not improve their performance, on the contrary, it will push them toward premature ejaculation. So, instead of focusing on their penises, men should see love making as a more complex process, involving the entire body. Establishing a strong emotional connection with their partners and offering them longer, more arousing preludes, will not only make them sexually fulfilled women, but it will also contribute to an improved self-esteem and a better control over when ejaculation occurs.