How To Last Longer In Bed

Are you searching for those secrets, tips and tricks, or scientifically proven solutions that will show you how to last longer in bed? Look no further, the answers to all of your fears, doubts, and frustrations regarding enhancing your sexual performance will be answered.

The male body undergoes a sequence of physical and emotional changes when sexually aroused, otherwise known as the sexual response cycle. The sexual response cycle has four main stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Without a doubt, ejaculation and orgasm is the most important phase for men to achieve, as it is the climax of sexual pleasure.

The ability to prolong the stages of this cycle greatly enhance sexual arousal and the intensity of orgasm. However, many men struggle with premature ejaculation and the inability to maintain those longer sex sessions that are so strongly desired. If you have experienced rapid and uncontrollable sexual release, there is a good chance you are dealing with premature ejaculation.

Fortunately, there are solutions. We’ve consulted with medical professionals to find the easiest, most effective treatments. By following a few of these easy guides, you’ll have no problem understanding the steps necessary to improve your sexual duration. But before we get to the solutions, we need to understand the problem.
 

What is premature ejaculation?

 
sexual response cyclePPremature ejaculation (PE) is the most well-known reasons for men to be dissatisfied with their sex lives. In fact, it is a worldwide phenomenon that has occurred in 30-70% of the male population4. and is more prevalent than erectile dysfunction3. The reported average length of a sexual encounter is 7 minutes, however an astonishing 43% of men finish in less than two minutes13.

People can often misunderstand and misdiagnose premature ejaculation. The two formally recognized definitions of PE are categorized by the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-10; World Health Organization,)15 and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV; American Psychiatric Association)2.

  • ICD-10 definition: There is an inability to delay ejaculation sufficiently to enjoy sexual intercourse, manifested as either of the following:
    • 1) occurrence of ejaculation before or very soon after the beginning of intercourse, or before or within 15 seconds of the beginning of intercourse
    • 2) ejaculation occurs in the absence of sufficient erection to make intercourse possible (the problem is not the result of prolonged abstinence from sexual activity)
  • DSM-IV definition: Premature ejaculation is persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, upon, or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it and is associated with marked distress or interpersonal difficulty

features of premature ejaculationSimply put, to have PE means you are consistently lacking control over ejaculation, whether the ejaculation occurs as soon as foreplay begins, instantly after the penis is penetrated, or sooner than you or your partner desires. The secret to learning how to last longer requires that this issue be addressed.

Chances are, either you or someone in your life has experienced PE and felt extreme embarrassment and helplessness.  Premature ejaculation does not have to be a permanent problem that limits you from performing at your optimal sexual peak for the rest of your life!

As medical studies advance and the global understanding of erectile performance increases, a number of treatment options are currently available that allow men to successfully manage their premature ejaculation and regain their sexual confidence.
 

What causes PE?

 
Premature ejaculation affects many men in different ways, and can be influenced by different physical or psychological factors.  Undoubtedly, PE induces stress and tension on the man as well as his sexual partners.  Individuals who suffer from this phenomenon have experienced symptoms from the beginning of their sexual history (primary/lifelong), while others may have erectile issues that arose suddenly after a history of normal sexual activity (secondary/acquired).

The classifications and causes of premature ejaculation will be discussed in detail, as well as short and long-term solutions for every man who is seeking answers and an enriched sex life.
 

Lifelong vs acquired premature ejaculation

 
Men who suffer from lifelong or acquired ejaculation commonly have the inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all instances of sexual penetration, and unfortunately experience harmful consequences such as increased anxiety and resentment towards sexual activity.

Those dealing with life-long PE are characterized as individuals who exhibit ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs within one minute of penetration from the first sexual experience, and men with acquired PE are characterized as those with significant or troubling reduction in functioning time, often within three minutes of penetration8.

Lifelong premature ejaculation relates to erectile problems that have persisted since the onset of puberty.  It is the least common form of the condition and affects an estimated 2% of the global male population8.  Lifelong PE is directly related to those who demonstrate one or several of the following psychological issues:

  • Men who have conditioned themselves to ejaculate rapidly during adolescent years in order to avoid getting caught masturbating
  • Childhood trauma relating to sex, causing men to be overly anxious about ejaculation
  • Cultural or religious influences that can cause men to view sex as shameful and/or inappropriate
  • Biological conditions where the penis is extremely sensitive, known as elevated penile sensitivity

An individual with acquired premature ejaculation relates to men who have experienced PE symptoms at some point later on in their life. Men with acquired PE are older, have greater occurrences of erectile dysfunction, and increased cardiovascular risks in comparison to men with life-long PE.   Causes of acquired PE can be both physical and psychological:

  • An increase in stress and depression directly decreases sexual performance
  • Relationship issues such as different sexual preferences and power struggles
  • Self-esteem related sexual performance anxiety
  • Physical health issues such as lack of exercise, diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, binge drinking, and drug use
  • Lowered testosterone levels, as is exhibited in up to 73% of men aged 60-7011
  • Serious medical conditions resulting in nerve damage, such as multiple sclerosis, spine or pelvis injuries, and prostate cancer

ejaculation

It is important to note that occasionally losing control of ejaculation is very common amongst men.  The majority of men will experience non-controlled orgasms from time to time.  If PE is occurring frequently and interfering with your own personal happiness and quality of life, consider the factors contributing to your erectile issues and the many options available that will resolve your problems and ensure sexual satisfaction in bed.
 

Issues commonly associated with PE

 
Recent studies have concluded that men with lifelong and acquired PE share reduced or absent ejaculatory control that results in significant negative consequences that affect their quality of life.  PE is known to cause significant distress among individuals by making men feel shamed or inadequate, impacting stable relationships due to partner dissatisfaction.

Men with PE often avoid sexual relationships due to PE-related stress4.  Unhappiness and disappointment with one’s sex life is highest in men who suffer from premature ejaculation compared to those who do not suffer from erectile difficulties7.  A recent study demonstrated the key characteristics of men suffering from PE, displayed in Table 1 below.

PREMATURE EJACULATION CHARACTERISTICS
Age 26-35 28%
35-50 36%
51-70 36%
Severity Severe 28%
Moderate 68%
Mild 4%
Condition Lifelong 46%
Acquired 54%
Consulted physician Yes 39%
No 61%
Current relationship Steady 82%
Non-steady 18%

Table 1. Sample characteristics of men suffering from PE 12.

The prevailing concern for men with premature ejaculation is the overwhelming lacking of sexual self-confidence, with 68% of men believing that longer sex is better sex and women are not interested in men who cannot live up to their manhood 12. Men are commonly reluctant to initiate new bonds or maintain long-term relationships if they have convinced themselves that they are not able to satisfy their partner.

Regardless of if you suffer from lifelong or acquired premature ejaculation, you do not have to accept a lacklustre sex life.  Years of medical studies and behavioral alterations have proven to be highly successful in improving performance. A comprehensive list of treatments is available, and before long you will be confident in your ability to master your heightened erectile performance.
 

How to Last Longer in Bed: The Best Approaches

 
A large percentage of men studied (47%) believe that there is no treatment for their PE and therefore do not consult treatment options or seek short and long term options12.  Individuals experiencing PE may feel reluctant or even embarrassed to address this sexual dysfunction with their partner, friend or physician.

Luckily, we have provided a comprehensive guide for immediate and long-term solutions for premature ejaculation that guarantee success and happiness for continual sexual satisfaction.

The following treatments are recommended for those living with both life-long and acquired premature ejaculation:
 

Behavioral techniques

 
relaxEffective (and money-saving!) at-home practices can improve your sexual performance, simply by practicing relaxation techniques and distraction methods. These are some of the easiest ways to learn how to last longer in bed.

Simply cutting down on alcohol and drug intake, as well as decreasing smoking can quickly improve cardiovascular health and consequently improve ejaculation control.  Ditching stimulants such as caffeine will slow down your heart rate and prevent over-excitement in the bedroom.  Opening up and improving communication skills amongst yourself and your partner can help you overcome any psychological limitations that are hindering you from feeling confident and adequate in the bedroom.

tantric sexTantric sex.  It may seem like an intimidating and ancient practice to the common gentleman, however tantric sex is historically very effective in prolonging sex by learning how to heighten your sexual stamina.  Practicing tantric meditative breathing techniques increases control of both your mind and your body, reducing the anxiety and depression that are holding you back from performing at your sexual peak.

When you feel you are on the verge of ejaculation, change your mind and focus your breath, pulling in your diaphragm.  Hold your breath and clench your pelvic muscles until the immediate urge to ejaculate diminishes.  Slowly inhaling through the nose for five seconds and followed by exhalation through the mouth repeatedly will both focus your heart rate and calm your mind.

This meditative technique can be practiced both with a partner and when masturbating, allowing you to master sexual control.
 

Practicing delay tactics

 
start stop techniqueThe Semans stop-start technique9 is a very simple technique that can be practiced alone or with a partner.  This practice is also referred to as edging.  Repeatedly bring yourself to the verge of ejaculation, then stop and rest for 30-60 seconds.  Continue with the stimulation once you have regained control.

Try repeating the process at least five times, stopping and resting, and eventually letting the ejaculation occur.  Practicing such restraint repeatedly will allow you to recognize and identify the threshold of your orgasm, or the ‘point of no return’.   By bringing the stop-start technique into the bedroom, you can also spice up your sex life by including teasing methods with your partner and shift your focus to other sources of pleasure on the body other than the penis.
 

The Squeeze Method

 
the squeeze methodThe Masters and Johnson squeeze technique 6 requires practicing a system where you learn to control sensations immediately prior to ejaculation. The squeeze technique involves squeezing the end of the penis immediately before ejaculation and occurs for about thirty seconds, therefore reducing the urge to release.  Repeat the process at least five times until you no longer want to delay your orgasm.

This method should be practiced over several months in order to gain recognition of your orgasm threshold, so you can successfully build up self-control and dominate your ejaculation in bed.

Both the stop-start and squeeze methods decrease various stimulus-response connections by gradual exposure of the individual to prolonged and intense stimulation14.  Masturbation immediately or within an hour prior to sexual intercourse has also been proven effective over time to increase sexual endurance.  These delay tactic exercises can be practiced alone and with a partner.

They are risk-free, long-term adaptations for anyone interested in adapting and strengthening your ejaculatory control and sexual performance.
 

Exercise

 
kegel exercisesIt is very beneficial to exercise and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, otherwise known as your Kegels, if you experience longterm PE.  Kegel exercises focues on the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles that run from the pubic bone to the tailbone, and have been proven to increase erectile performance in men with both life-long and acquired PE.

In order to isolate the muscles on your pelvic floor, practice stopping yourself from urinating when you are midstream.  Tightly contract your muscles and hold for several seconds, repeating several times a day over multiple days consecutively.  Over time you will notice a definitive tightening of your pelvic muscles, which will directly result in increased erectile control. Kegel strengthening is a proven long-term remedy to improve erectile efficacy while increasing the strength of your orgasm.

The bonus of Kegel strengthening is it is quick and easy to practice during the day wherever you are – from the comfort of your home to the workplace to the grocery store- no one will know you are working those muscles and improving your sex life!
 

SSRI’s

 
ssriSelective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI’s) are medications designed to treat depression, and can be used by men with depression in order to slow down and reduce the chances of premature ejaculation.

SSRI’s increase the extracellular levels of neurotransmitter serotonin by inhibiting its reuptake into the presynaptic cell, increasing the level of bioavailable serotonin. It is important to consider that such medications have potentially serious side effects such as reduced fertility, nausea, sweating, decreased sex drive, fatigue, and bowel disturbance. Consultation with a doctor is highly recommended before intake of medications for PE purposes.
 

Sex Positions

 
Many men don’t realize how strong of an effect that position has on their endurance. Simply trying a new technique can help PE sufferers last noticeably longer. One of the most effective positions is just a simple modification on doggy style. Instead of staying on her hands and knees, have your partner lower her body until her stomach is flat against the bed. This position reduces the amount of stimulation you are feeling, but actually increases it for your partner.

There are many different sexual positions that have shown to be effective. The most popular include a sitting position, the cross, or even having your partner go on top. If you’d like more information about how these positions can be executed, be sure to check out our blog post here.
 

Sex Counselling

 
sex counsellingFor individuals suffering from long-term psychological burdens such as anxiety, depression, and emotional intimacy issues, consider consulting with sex therapy programs.

Underlying concerns with premature ejaculation and any other erectile dysfunctions can be explored and safely diagnosed. In-depth therapy will allow you to address the mental issues that cause PE by accepting your body, decreasing your insecurities, and focusing on assuring your partner’s pleasure during sex.  If you experience a low or reduced libido due to aging, hormonal imbalances or anxiety, seeking therapy can help you explore avenues of arousal.

If you struggle with sexual or gender identity, or you are interested in fetishes or non-conventional sex, a skilled sex therapist can help guide you through exploring your sexual identity and sexual preferences.  AASECT is an online community that provides in-depth options to further explore sex therapy in a safe and non-judgemental environment.
 

Instant topical treatment

 
packTopical treatments are the easiest and most successful short-term solution for anyone experiencing PE, and they have fewer potential side effects compared the pharmaceutical pills. Readily available natural ointments such as Pelay Gel are proven to be effective in reducing penile sensation, resulting in prolonged intercourse and immediately reducing the chances of premature ejaculation.

Recent studies that applied topical treatments to men dealing with PE reported that 82% of patients exhibited an immediate increased sexual satisfaction4.  Pelay Gel is an FDA approved herbal water-based gel, which is hypoallergenic and without the negative side effects common in pharmaceuticals. Synthetic creams and ointments can contain harmful ingredients or prevent orgasm, however Pelay Gel is proven to be successful without the use of powerful anaesthetics that drastically decrease sensitivity.

The Pelay Gel is active within ten minutes of application, and can be used by men experiencing both long-term and acquired PE.  This natural product allows you to control ejaculation, provide lubrication, and prolong your sexual enjoyment. For most men who are disappointed with their current sexual performance, this is the quickest and most effective approach. Read more about Pelay Gel here.
 

Combined approach

 
Combining both physical and psychological PE techniques into your daily routine is proven to be an efficient and thorough approach for men wondering how to last longer in bed. Studies have shown that combination therapy can manage stresses induced by sexual dysfunctions1. Incorporating both short-term and long-term treatments will provide you with immediate satisfaction as well as techniques for guaranteeing prolonged sexual pleasure for both you and your partner.

In combination with the personal behavioral techniques and immediate ejaculation control using topical gels, it is worthwhile to consider a comprehensive online 90-day program that will help you to overcome your premature erectile complications and boost your confidence in the bedroom. The first 30 days of the program are totally free; providing enough coverage for most men to see significant improvement. If you would like to continue to see improvement to your stamina, the following 60 days can give incredible results.

Combined therapy methods are superior when compared to psychological or medical treatments alone14. Men who seek immediate results will benefit from the Pelay Gel, while the 90-day guide can provide long-term relief from PE.

Enjoy your sex life: The Ultimate Way to Last Longer in Bed

Do not lose hope in your quest to overcome premature ejaculation!  On average, 50-95% of men using a combination of the described sexual techniques learned how to last longer in bed.  You will become the master of your ejaculations by including short and long term practices that will drastically improve both you and your partner’s sexual satisfaction.  Millions of men around the world have learned how to control their premature ejaculation- dedicate yourself to these life-changing techniques and soon you can too!

  1. Abdo, C.H., Afif-Abdo, J., Otani, F., Machado, A.C. 2008. Sexual satisfaction among patients with erectile dysfunction treated with counseling, sildenafil, or both. J Sex Med,  5:1720–6.
  1. American Psychiatric Association. 1994. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed.). Washington, D.C.
  1. Aschka, C., Himmel, W., Ittner, E., et al. Sexual problems of male patients in family practice.J Fam Pract, 2001:50:773–7.
  1. Choi, H.K., Jung, G.W., Moon, K.H., Xin, Z.C., Choi, Y.D. et al. 2010. Clinical study of SS-cream in patients with lifelong premature ejaculation. Urology, 55: 257–61.
  1. Hatziouratidis, K., et al. Guidelines on male sexual dysfunction: erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. European urology, 57.5: 804-814.
  1. Masters, W.H. and Johnson, V.E. 1970. Human Sexual Inadequacy. Boston, MA: Little & Brown.
  1. Moore, J.T. and Goldstein, Y. 1980. Sexual problems among family medicine patients.Journal of Family Practice, 10: 243–247.
  1. Serefoglu, E.C., McMahon, C.G., Waldinger, M.D., Althof, S.E., Shindel, A., Adaikan, G., Becher, E.F., Dean, J., Giuliano, F., Hellstrom, W.J.G., Giraldi, A., Glina, S., Incrocci, L., Jannini, E., McCabe, M., Parish, S., Rowland, D., Segraves, R.T., Sharlip, I., and Torres, L.O. 2014. An evidence-based unified definition of lifelong and acquired premature ejaculation: Report of the second International Society for Sexual Medicine Ad Hoc Committee for the Definition of Premature Ejaculation. J Sex Med, 11:1423–1441.
  1. Semans, J.H. 1956 Premature ejaculation: a new approach. South Med J, 49: 353–8.
  1. Lawrence, J. S., and Madakasira, S. 1992. Evaluation and treatment of premature ejaculation: A critical review. International Journal of Psychological Medicine, 22: 77–97.
  1. Stanworth, R. D., and Jones, T. H. 2008. Testosterone for the aging male; current evidence and recommended practice .Clinical Interventions in Aging3(1): 25–44.
  1. Symonds, T., Robline, D., Hart, K and Althof, S. 2003. How Does Premature Ejaculation Impact a Man’s Life?, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 29(5): 361-370.
  1. Techniques To Delay Ejaculation. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.dred.com/uk/how-to-delay-ejaculation.html.
  1. Waldinger, M.D. 2002. The neurobiological approach to premature ejaculation.The Journal of urology 6: 2359-2367.
  1. World Health Organisation. 1992–1994. International statistical  classification  of diseases and related health problems (10th ed.). Geneva, Switzerland: Author.